iMessage Problem: Switching from iPhone to Android

So you got made fun of for being an Apple fanboy and made the leap of faith to Android eh?  No doubt the first thing you noticed was other iPhone users not responding to your texts.  Oh wait, you then realized they were sending you iMessages that were going into a Black Hole! 

Then you tried to use the Internet's advice by calling Apple, but since you didn't have Apple Care, they tried to charge you $19.99 for the one phone call!  Then you continued reading about all the ignorant people telling you to turn off iMessage on your iPhone that you already sold/gave away/threw away.  What now?  The SIMPLEST solution!!!  Let the bullet points begin:

• Log into https://supportprofile.apple.com/
• Click "Edit Products" under "My Products" 

 

• Click the "X" button next to your target ex-device(s)

• Click "Unregister"
• VOILA!